2025; The Year In Subdued

The very first day of the year reported the collision of an autonomous Waymo taxi and a delivery bot.  Thus began the Robot Wars of 2025.  The same day a Cybertruck explosion happened outside Trump Tower. Happy New Year!

Student Driver bumper stickers became quite common for a week-and-a-half.  But be patient anyway!  Everyone is essentially a student driver. 

The most common phrase spoken was “You are still muted, Bernard”.

The most common in print was ‘transparent dress’.

The same guy who claimed he’d stop the War in Ukraine on Day 1 

is still blaming Biden for everything by the end of his first YEAR.

10 days later,Trump fires 100 ATC.

Later that day a Blackhawk collides into an airliner, all killed. 

MAGA blamed gay marriage.

Just the beginning.  Trump claimed he had cut back the Department of Commerce (specifically the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office), Department of Homeland Security (DHS), Department of Defense (DOD), National Park Service (NPS), Bureau of Land Management (BLM), Veterans Affairs Department (VA), Small Business Administration (SBA), Fish and Wildlife Service (FWS), National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST), National Science Foundation (NSF), the Department of Are You Paying Attention...

Trump generously renamed Gulf of America.  Why stop there?  Why not ‘Redland’ (formerly Greenland), the Melania Canal.  Turn Canada into North North Dakota.  Allow drilling in the Arco National Wildlife Refuge.

He threatened to levy tariffs against trade allies, THEN walked them back.  Trump acquired the nickname TACO (Trump Always Chickens Out).  His few remaining advisors formed an exploratory committee to market “Trump Tacos!”, which declared bankruptcy in the theoretical stage.  

For those keeping score at home the richest man in the world controlled the most powerful government in the world.  Now would be a good time to look up the definition of the word ‘oligarchy’.  

Musk claimed he would take action against those ‘telling lies’ about Teslas.  Trump claimed as much.  Nice when you hire the leader of the free world to do your security.  Only cost him $280million.  So far.

Who let the DOGE out?  Doesn’t matter.  The anarchists who so desperately wanted the government to crumble became desperate that the government was beginning to crumble.  Elon Musk emerged with a black eye.  And had to take stock of his dropping stock. 

By the end of the year DOGE was dead, the damage complete. 

Secretary of Defense, War, & Belligerence Pete Hegseth released a defense mission to a reporter.  Then immediately blamed the reporter.

Why, yes.  This WAS the guy who said Hillary should be fired ‘on the spot’ for ‘mishandling info’. But you have an immunity of crime if you are Republican, the “Party of Law and Order®”.

Trump sued somebody.  Oh, and gave the order to kill a few people.  

President Trump began to deport immigrants and anchor babies, despite having a family full of immigrants and anchor babies.

The Party that bludgeoned every Democratic president over Executive Orders celebrated Trump TWO HUNDREDTH Executive Order.  In his first six months.  No other president was as... productive...

Not even halfway through his first year, he mobilized thousands of National Guard and Marines against Americans, then grumbled about not being about to get a Nobel Peace Prize.  Until he became a soccer hooligan.

Trump cancelled the Secret Service for Biden’s children and Kamala Harris  

Yet still charges Secret Service to stay at his resort.  To protect his life.

Well...  at least he reduced drug prices by “four to six hundred percent”.

The Dow took a TWO THOUSAND point plunge in a single day.  MAGA asked for a haircut and was given a lobotomy.

Then arch-activist Charlie Kirk was killed by  the Violent Left   vaccines  the idea that “it's worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths”. Flags were ordered to half-mast since Kirk was  an elected official   a legendary statesman  an excuse to distract from the Epstein files.   

The Party of Law and Order® began human trafficking.  Hundreds of Americans were swept up by ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement).  Thousands were forcibly deported.  So crime should plunge, yes?  Now would be a good time to look up the definition of the term ‘immigrant paradox’.  As a percentage, crime will actually go UP.

Oxford’s word of the year is ‘rage bait’. People had no problem with that.

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Heads up.  Looking down the road

there WILL be a constitutional war at the end of 2028.

Not a constitutional crisis.  A constitutional war.